Written on | October 19, 2010 | 4 Comments
So as you may have gathered from my bomb-dropping or my crafty quoting of Home by Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeroes, I’m heading back, internet. Back to Aberdeen, back to being unemployed, back to my tiny room with a panoramic view of my neighbour’s kitchen, back to everything I thought I wanted to get away from. Back to my family, back to knowing my favourite shops and shortcuts and the kids in the street, back to my friends, back to the same old same old.
When I go to university I want to go because I want to learn, not because I arrived there after school not having realised there were any other options; and I’ll go to every lecture and sit in the front row with my narrow ruled notepad and my Paperchase pen, drinking in every word. I’ll drive there, and park my turquoise Renault Clio perfectly in the car park because expanding my horizons can mean broadening my range of life skills too. When I see you in the union you’ll ask me how I’ve been, and I’ll smile and buy you a drink because I’ll be eighteen and can afford it after having worked for a year. And once I graduate I’ll be done in four years, with no student loan, and no accommodation fees to pay.
I move back Monday; and right now I am scared of absence makes the heart grow fonder, accidentally falling into being a no-hoper, and home fires kept burning burning out. I am looking forward to the day when this will be a part of my past, and people will be surprised when they find out and say I didn’t know you ever went to Glasgow Uni. So far I’ve applied for eleven jobs, and have had to turn down one interview because I’m not in Aberdeen yet. It’s been harder to tell my flatmates than I thought it would be because I thought they wouldn’t care, and their faces after I’ve told them suggest they really, really do.
There will be days when I wonder why I made this decision, but I want to make myself glad that I made it and when I’ve managed that I want to make sure that you’re glad too. Maybe my horizons just got a little less wide, but that small patch of sky above is so much brighter. I’m happy.