Written on | October 15, 2010 | 1 Comment
I have become the flatmate who wears a dazzling combinations of patterns all at once, who wears hundreds of bangles and eyeliner and un-straightened red hair with the dye growing out. There is a bowl of Tesco Value 14p spaghetti on my desk and it has been there for two days. I am the student who winds up in the library at midnight on Skype eating packets and packets of Skips, and makes mysterious nightly phonecalls from the bathroom floor. I go to bed late and wake up late. I make endless coffees until the supply of clean cups runs out.
I’ve had so much advice these past few days internet. Thank you. Do what you gotta do. The worst thing that will happen is that you will make a mistake .. and that’s not so bad. Whatever decision you make will be the right one just by the merit of you having made it. It is your happiness that you must consider most important and the only deciding factor that you pay need to in this instance. If there is any reason at all for you to move back home, it’s so that we can have a Skips intervention .. the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem Gemma. If you don’t want to do it don’t, there are hundreds of things you could be doing. Just remember why you are doing this: to gain a degree to enable you to have more choice and better opportunities in your life. Don’t waste the chance by doing anything rash. It might not be so easy to get back into again later on. You have too many brains to waste!
Today I went to the student advisory service and it was a pointless waste of time. I wanted to stand up on my chair and tell the woman to stop counselling me, that I am perfectly capable of making this decision for myself. I don’t need psychoanalysis, I need a checklist of administrative formalities I need to go through if I decide to do this. If. Apparently I need to have a definitive reason if I decide to leave. To fit inside a check-box, if you will. Excuse me? You mean my airy blog post reasons aren’t good enough? I can’t just change my mind? This is uni, noone is supposed to care. It was perfectly okay for me to just be a number in freshers week and leave me coasting along all confused over course choices and accomodation payments, but now there’s the possiblity of you losing out on my tuition money you suddenly take hold of me in a death-grip?
I don’t know, I just don’t know. I am in the process of finding out my options and it is all a great big circle. I went to residential services today too, the lady smiled, handed me a form and said: “think carefully, it’s a big decision.” No need to tell me twice, lady. Now I am away to meet my bestest bestest friend take him to a Glasgow institution of a cafe for tea and woe and chats. And maybe it will be the last time I take someone to this cafe, and maybe this will be the last time I’m in the library. And maybe it won’t. I hope he’ll help me work it out. I hope I’ll work it out. Stay tuned internet. Over and out.